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You Might Be A Redneck if…

From the beginning when Jeff Foxworthy’s redneck jokes became unexplainably popular, it became a huge comedy phenomenon moving to “Blue Collar TV” which included Bill Engvall, Ron White, and Larry The Cable Guy. If You’re from the South YOU know about the “Good Ol’ Boys”.   From the drinking and smoking jokes of White, to the personal experiences of the crew, you couldn’t help but laugh and love.   If you’re a Southerner, you know what a Redneck is, or at least heard about one.

It was my first day of college August 2002, I raised my hand in math class to answer a question the teacher had asked.  I went on to explain my answer, and how I got it.  A male voice speaks from behind me, “You’re from Hickory, NC are you not?  That’s when I realized WOW I have THE accent, the Southern accent.

Growing up in Hickory my definition of a redneck has always been personality, style, and to many Southerners their entire way of life.   Of course, everyone has their own definition of a redneck, for example, often you may hear they are lower class, uneducated, unsophisticated, and much more.  To be honest, this is not true at all!  Yes, possibly true but not entirely.  If you’re not from the South you may not understand, which is legible.  I get it, honestly, I laugh when I hear the accents from Northern decent “Sneakers”, “POP”, Nah I’ll stick with tennis shoes and soda!  JS if you have issues recognizing a Redneck, just check out our local WalmartYou may get more than what you bargained for 🙂 it’s a WIN WIN!!!

You Might Be A Redneck if…

  1. You use superglue to fix the cut on your hand.
  2. Your wife’s job requires her to wear a thong.
  3. A car junkyard is in the front or back of your home.
  4. If Jack Daniels meets you every day after work.
  5. The only conversation you can hold is about guns.
  6. You keep a can of RAID on the Kitchen counter.
  7. Your husband has a plumbers crack with a beer in hand every day.
  8. The word “Warsh” is used instead of “Wash”.
  9. If your idea of the best meal is from KFC and a six-pack from the convenience store.
  10. If you use your teeth to open your beer.
  11. If you use an electric screwdriver for a bottle of wine and pull it out with the claw end of the hammer.
  12. An ac unit is in your car for air.
  13. There is a trash bag in your car for beer cans.
  14. Driving on a doughnut tire until the thread is gone.
  15. Your car door doesn’t match the color of your car.
  16. You have 5 adult teeth missing when you smile.
  17. Nascar is your religion.
  18. Your home is more mobile than your vehicle.
  19. The air freshener in your home is butane.
  20. When you tell your wife to chug, chug, chug.
  21. You use sheets for curtains.
  22. You and your wife have a competition on who can spit tobacco the furthest.
  23. The roof of your car to move from one home to another.
  24. When you think of dressing up it is a plaid shirt, jeans, and boots.
  25. You hang out at other peoples house during the day so you don’t have to run your air conditioner.
  26. When you have an escape route from your home every day.
  27. You must hide your car so it’s not repoed.
  28. Your pool is made from the bed of your truck.
  29. Talking about guns more than your child or wife.
  30. Chewing tobacco and spitting in a plastic bottle seems to be an everyday routine.
  31. If the jacket you wear every day is camo.
  32. You shoot a shotgun in the air just to shoot.
  33. Your pool party consists of bales of hay, a tarp, hose, and a rope.
  34. Your our tires are bigger than your lawnmower or your truck.
  35. If you keep your Christmas lights up year around.
  36. If your name is a combination of two of these names Billy, Bob, Jim, or Joe.
  37. Your truck is covered in mud.
  38. If you have bought alcohol through a drive-through.
  39. You have had a mullet at ANY point in your life.
  40. Your privacy fence consists of a massive overgrowth of weeds.
  41. If you have at least three different baby daddy for all three of your kids.
  42. Your wedding picture includes the wedding party with shotguns in their hands.
  43. The car has more fast food trash than an average fast food restaurant.
  44. The floor of your house has not been seen in over a year.
  45. Your cell number changes every week.

Redneck on my friends, redneck on!

Yours Truly,