So let’s be real, you and your partner used to be the freak in the sheets, look at each other, and go straight to the bedroom at any time during the day, right? Time has passed your relationship has fully ripened and it just seems to be getting less exciting, almost like making it a chore on your calendar for the week or even month! You can’t say I’m wrong because honestly guys your not alone!
I mean come on, the best way to relieve your daily stress is to be intimate with your significant other, or yourself! No judging here ;-)! A woman in this day in time should have no problems coming up with ways to light that spark and make fire again, you are the spark GIRL!
1.) Tell Them What You Want
This takes no genius to figure out that communication is the number one factor in any relationship! Speak up and flat out tell them you need sex, and this is how it needs to be! They won’t know unless you tell them. A lot of relationships are based on the guess and find game when it comes to sex and pleasing your partner. Why not skip the BS and get right to the point! If you feel neglected, sex is boring, he or she is not hitting the right spot, or you just want to hurry and get it over with, TELL THEM! If you’re not into it, more than likely neither are they. Be specific what you want, and what you need to satisfy you.
2.) Watch the Dirty Dirty
Get somewhere comfortable and get out the porn! Yes, I said it and not joking either (just make sure the kids are in the bed first or staying the night elsewhere:-D ). Do you really want to spice up the bedroom? Then you should be doing this already! Porn does not just have to be for you secretly or them secretly, why not enjoy it together? No one says you have to watch a full hour long movie, you watch what you think is enough for the both of you, and what a great start of foreplay this could be. You may be turning off within minutes and starting your own movie, JS! Find something that you both enjoy and not just satisfying one of the both of you, you’re in this together remember?
3. Shared Masturbation
Ok, before you go getting all red-faced on me, you know you masturbate, everyone does. Nothing to be embarrassed about. It is a natural part of life, especially when your not intimate with your partner on a regular basis. You of all people know what satisfies you, and what your needs are. Masturbating with your partner can bring many positive’s to a relationship. Watching your partner going solo as they watch you do the same thing also is very hot. You both may last no time at all! This may come in handy when pressed for time, we know our bodies and it normally does not take long at all.
4.) Take it Outside the Bedroom
Sex does not have to ALWAYS be in the bedroom. Try a different scenery like the living room floor or couch or wherever your hormones take you, the kitchen (just make sure you sanitize LOL, your house, your rules right?), shower (bet you haven’t done that in a while beside going solo, huh? Do you have a pool out back? Great place to get the foreplay started, I am just Saying, 😀
5.) Get Sexy Ladies
Ladies, if you can make it to Victoria Secret or wherever you prefer your lingerie, GO GET IT! Nothing turns a man on more than seeing his sexy woman in a sexy nighty! It may not stay on for long, but I guarantee you, you will have no problems with Mr. Handsome over there! No time to go out? Throw on some heels, Sexy underwear, and a silky robe or Jacket and your set!
6.) Shopping for Sex Toys
Both of you go together to the sex store and find a few things you both will enjoy. I promise you having things to play with during sex or even just foreplay will make all the difference in the world. Just don’t forget to buy extra batteries!
7.) Be the Submissive One and Try the BDSM
This is NOT just a female role, you both can do this. I believe it’s important that both be on the same level of control in a relationship, if not relationships tend to fail quite fast. I’m not talking about sex acts that cause pain or injury (unless you both are into that sort of thing), although a little playful spanking and hair pulling(gently) have been proven to arose both partners tremendously. One playing a dominant role, the other agreeing to do anything the other wants with stipulations, of course, these should be fully discussed beforehand so you are both clear on the do’s and don’ts. Don’t forget to add in there you get your own needs met at some point preferably sooner rather than later unless you like being last, or at the same time. Again, completely up to the two of you. When choosing to engage in BDSM (Bondage, discipline (or domination), sadism, and masochism) it is always good to agree on safe words and starting out small, then growing to more open areas as you fit desired. You should read this article by Samantha Cooney, How BDSM Can Help Save Your Relationship. Great article from Dr. Hunter Jones, professional sex therapists, perspective and what she recommends to her clients.
That being said I will keep this simple and to the point. Don’t neglect you or your partner’s sexual desires, if you’re having personal issues with your sex drive. I suggest seeking consult from a professional sex therapist, or your doctor because it could be very well one of the medications you are taking that could be lowering your sex drive. This applies to both partners. If you are just seemingly in the same routine day in and day out, THINK you have no time, kids, family life all coming in the way that makes you uninterested in sex. There are ways around this and to fix this, I promise! Just make sure anything you do is consensual and both agree on the same thing. remember we are trying to spice up the bedroom not spice it down. Until next time my friends keep it consensual, keep it hot, keep plenty of lube! ;-D