Are You Ready For The Drop Off Line?
THE SCHOOL YEAR HAS STARTED, OH YEA AND SO HAS THAT LONG ASS CAR RIDER LINE!
OK, here it goes, school has started back, and the dang drop off line is back to hell! We FINALLY get the lane flowing smoothly by the end of the year, and BOOM it’s back to crap by the time school starts back! Come on parents this process should be easier than spraying your child with cold water that refuses to get up! I just don’t get it, You drive all the way up, let your child out, and move on! No, you do not drive halfway up, a third of the way up, right in front of the door, or to your favorite teacher whos on Line duty that morning! Sorry mom, but SHE DOES NOT WANT TO TALK TO YOU, ITS TOO EARLY, and she is probably still trying to finish her first cup of coffee while standing outside in the heat, rain, and cold winter months trying to deal with moms like you! There are times to talk to your favorite teacher, but the school drop off line is NOT ONE!
YOU SHOULD NOT BE IN THE DROP OFF LINE IF:
1.) IF YOU HAVE TO WATCH YOUR BUTTERFLY SPROUT FROM THEIR COCOON EVERY MORNING!
Come on moms, and yes I say, moms because I have not once seen a father do this in the entire 8-year school experience of the school drop off line! You do not have to sit there holding up the mile-long train of cars to watch your child walk to the school door, or as far as you can see them! They are OK I PROMISE! That precious caterpillar of yours has sprouted from its cocoon a LONG time ago! This is not their first go-round walking into their school, THEY DO IT EVERY YEAR AND YOU WERE JUST AT ORIENTATION, THEY KNOW WHERE TO GO!
2.) IF YOU HAVE TO HELP YOUR PRECIOUS BEAUTY QUEEN OR PRINCE WITH THE DOOR!
If you have to get out of your car to open the door for your child if the door is broke, or if you are so famous that you must have a chauffeur so your pretty little fingers do not have to touch the GOD forsaken bacteria infested handle, GO PARK YOUR CAR! A child in middle school does not need help getting out of the car, I promise you. If your child is not jumping out of the car and running to get away from you for a few hours by middle school, parents you have not done your job, JS!
3.) IF YOU FEEL THE URGE TO START UP A CONVERSATION TO ANOTHER PARENT WHILE IN LINE!
If you feel that you need to have a leisurely conversation with another parent about the color of the birds that morning, PLEASE GO PARK! Nothing wrong with parent conversations, I have them, but there is a time and place, and it is not in the DROP OFF LANE! No offense but there are parents that actually do have to be at work on time in the mornings!
4.) IF YOU FEEL THE NEED TO KISS, HUG, AND TALK TO YOUR CHILD!
If you MUST have a kiss, family group hug, and a word of prayer before your child gets out of the car, nothing wrong with this, but please park your car. Holding up the line for three or even five minutes to give your middle school kid a daily motivation speech should be done while in a parking space, you greatest mom ever, you 🙂
5.) IF YOUR CHILD IS SUDDENLY HAVING A MIDDLE SCHOOL HORMONE BREAKDOWN!
If your child decides to throw a tantrum or have a meltdown on the way to school because he/she does not like the shoes, shirt or pants they are wearing, or maybe even just not wanting to go to school period. No worries, every parent has been there, if not, bless you! Please park somewhere appropriate, and handle your family soap opera privately! Do NOT stay in the drop off lane trying to talk to your upset dramatic teen, and trying to make them get out of the car because let’s be honest, to give you a break for the day so your blood pressure can reside from the exciting morning dealing with your overly dramatic teen. FYI, you yelling at them to get out, and get over it will only make it worse, I promise you they will rebel and act worse, I have been there! Check out my blog on teen years. I promise you, you will want to read if you have not!
6.) IF YOU HAVE THE URGE TO PUT YOUR MAKEUP ON FOR WORK!
Come on lady’s if you have the need to finish your makeup in the school drop off lane, please pull over! We see you, we see more than you know, and more than you want to know! I get it, I am in a hurry in the morning’s too no matter how much earlier you get up, your still late, but don’t make the rest of us late too! We are more than likely just as behind as you are!
7.) YOU HAVE THE NEED TO DROP YOUR CHILD OFF BEFORE THE SAFE DROP OFF SPOT!
If you are so late that you need to drop your child off while still waiting in the drop off lane, so you can do a U-turn to get out of the line, you need to get there earlier! First off your putting your child at risk of getting hit, second if they are a walker let them walk, do not get in the line in the first place!
8.) IF YOUR BOO BEAR MUST GET MUSIC OR SPORTS EQUIPMENT OUT OF THE BACK OF THE VAN!
If your precious bundle of joy needs to get equipment that is too big or too much to fit in their arms in the car, out of the back of a trunk, an AUTOMATED back Van door (THAT YOU SIT THERE WHILE IT LIFTS AND CLOSES LONG AFTER THE CHILD IS GONE). GO PARK YOUR CAR! No problem with this, a lot of kids have extra things to carry and have to store in moms trunk or the back of the van, but when your holding traffic up waiting for your back door to close automatically, 5 more cars could have already unloaded their bright jelly beans and sent them off for the day!
9.) IF YOUR CHILD IS UNDRESSED, MISSING A SHOE, STILL TRYING TO TIE THEIR SHOE!
Parents, the kids should be dressed before you even consider waiting in the drop off line! If you are having to sit and back up traffic because your butterball little fingers are slipping trying to hurry buttoning his shirt, YOU NEED TO GO PARK!
10.) IF YOU CANNOT MOVE WITH THE TRAFFIC!
Come on people it’s not rocket science, move with the flow!!!!!!!! You do not have to be a genius to figure out your schools Drop off process! If you find yourself having issues with this, GO PARK AND GET HELP!!!!! For that matter ask YOUR CHILD, THEY PROBABLY KNOW!
In the meantime use common sense, think smart, and just go with it! If when in doubt, just GO PARK! We all love our cutie patooties and just want the best for them, and want them to know we care, BUT THERE IS A TIME AND PLACE!! I promise you, you will not be the worst mom in the world if they have to walk a few extra feet before getting under the overhang when it’s raining, I promise you, you will not be the worst mom in the world if they cannot stare at you and give the pageant wave as they walk in the school! That being said, happy driving, happy dropping off, and happy 8 hours of no kids! Till next time my friends, keep it moving!
Heather D. Gantt